Adapting to “The Match”
by Lara Balsters McElderry
Our family has moved several times. We moved for medical school, then residency, then a different residency, then a third residency, then a job, then a fellowship, and now we are getting ready to move again this summer! You can actually find a timeline of our crazy journey here.
If there is one thing I’ve learned, it is that there are good people everywhere.
When my husband was a surgical intern, a lady at church volunteered once a month to watch our kids on a Friday night. She emailed me the last week of the month and said, “Do you have his call schedule? When can I come?” She’d bring her laptop and watch my 3 young boys and then put them to bed and work on her laptop until we returned. She expected us to be gone 4-5 hours. She wasn’t married to a doctor. She wasn’t a relative. She was an amazing person and example to me. She did this every month for over a year until we moved!
In Wisconsin, we had our fifth boy. I was in the hospital for some pregnancy complications. I would be there several weeks before the baby came via C-section. My friend was on her way to pick up my kids when the oldest got sick and vomited. It is so hard to ask for help; it’s even harder when vomit is involved. This friend didn’t miss a beat. She simply said, “Kids get sick and I’ve done throw up before.” She took the boys and let them stay the night until our out of town family could arrive. She wasn’t married to a doctor. She wasn’t a relative. She was an amazing person and an example to me. She took my vomiting child into her home with her children!
I encourage you to plug into amazing people and invest in friendships even if you know this is just a temporary stop on your journey. Get to know people, as you show an interest in them, they will reciprocate. While it sounds cliche, being a friend is the best way to make a friend.
At Married To Doctors we know moving isn’t easy, and it can be especially challenging if you need to move for a MATCH result you aren’t thrilled about. Here are some resources you may find helpful:
Podcast Episodes:
#11 Avoiding Resentment Toward Your Spouse on the Medical Journey
#13 Taking Care of Yourself As A Doctor’s Wife
#15 Adapting To A Difficult Residency Match
#16 How to Feel Rooted in a New Place (releasing 3/15/18)
Blog Posts:
5 Tips for Creating Your Match Rank List
We’re Moving Again…How to Deal with Relocation Depression
Lara McElderry studied Family and Consumer Science and graduated from the University of Arkansas with a Masters Degree in Teaching. She has worked with youth and adults and has a strong interest in family dynamics. Lara has been navigating the medical world for the last sixteen years as she has supported her husband through medical school, residency, a specialty change, fellowship, as well as raising five boys. She is the founder and podcast host of Married To Doctors. Her show is an interview based weekly podcast. Spouses of physicians share their stories and experts share advice as Lara leads a discussion asking personal and hard questions that explore the joys and challenges of being Married to Doctors.
Lara – Wonderful advice, great anecdotes and you care & share.
We met in Las Vegas at the Regional Conf.